This is the story about a guy, named Bill, whose life goes straight to hell in one day. Please, sit down and enjoy this sad, yet true, story about this twisted individual. By the way, Bill used to sell shoes at a local hardware store. It didn't go too well.
It was a mighty fine morning in southern Brusnyb, on the east coast of England. Bill got up in the morning to have his morning tea and kick his wife's ass, as always. But something was not right this morning. When he got his tea, he got some on his brand new white shirt.
"Phuds! Get over here and clean up the stain on my brand new white shirt, bitch," he commanded his wife who were doing the dishes.
"Shut your pie-hole and clean it up yourself, Bill! I've had it with you and your fucking newspaper! I'm leaving you," was her reply. Seconds later she was storming out of the window.
You see, they don't have doors in England. They have windows and windows only. Not even windows. Yeah.
"That was bloody strange," Bill thought to himself. "Ah well, at least I have my work to go to."
He then went out to his car, just to realize that he didn't own a car.
"Phuds! Get over here and get me a car, bitch," he commanded his wife. But then he remembered that she had just left him, and Bill got sad.
"This can't be happening!" he shouted, "My life is going straight to hell! Ah well, at least I have my job to go to."
So Bill started walking and two hours later he arrived at work. He went up to Joe to say good morning. Joe, however, did not look as excited as he used to do when Bill came to say good morning to him.
"What's wrong, Joe?" Bill asked him.
"You haven't heard, eh?" Joe replied.
"They're firing everyone whose first name is Bill. Sorry, pal," Joe sad with a tear rolling down his cheek.
"Damn . . . this day is the worst day of my life," Bill cried out and got a big hug from Joe.
He then wandered out of the factory with slow steps, together with the other Bills. There were twenty seven of them.
For hours and hours Bill cruised around in the car he did not have and all he could think about was how he had been dumped and how he didn't have a car. He then saw a big rock at the side of the road.
"It's now or never," he said to himself as he turned the wheels of the car that he didn't have.
Seconds later he crashed right into the rock, and this was the end of Bill's life . . . if he'd had a car to crash into the rock with. Instead he just walked into it and hurt his nose.
"Phuds! This just isn't my day," Bill told the rock as he sat down . . . as the loneliest Bill in the world . . .